What Women Should Know

It was a few years ago that got me to write this out tonight, but time can be a funny thing, and it seems to speed by before we can grab it with two hands and say - hold on.

This story, and all of my stories, mostly, have one purpose — to entertain. Typically, I involve myself with a broad sweep of imagination that tackles space colonies, the future, brave adventurous explorers, and courageous women. Space suits are always included, with serious research on spaceships as well. Is it possible that women of these futures will bother to decorate for the holidays? Or maybe they will simply relax, and say cheers to their family on Earth after they return from a full day of Mars surface exploration.

These questions are entertaining to think about, deep within the sunken space colony on Mars, but what about women today? Brave women of Earth, face daily obstacles with Earth's heavier gravity to weigh them down. Along with full-time work, they also have families, and face the stress of holidays, year after year.  I myself have feared and dreaded the holidays, and taken in the mental load, the gender-driven responsibilities...and financial burdens. Women who work full time can get very stressed you know, and even experience murderous rage. It's a problem. Not to mention the cooking...

I did find an answer once. It began when my sister and her husband moved to Park City Utah a few years ago. I didn't know much about Utah then, or Park City, but Park City is an exclusive ski resort town. In the summers, Park City also hosts a famous film festival called Sundance. 

Eventually, I traveled there for a visit and set out for one day of skiing with everyone over the holidays. Laden down with ski boots, skis, and poles, I'd prefer to say I am a better observer than a skier.  As I traversed the slopes, the ski lift, and a restaurant halfway down, I studied these vacationers as they zipped around, fell down, or floundered in their heavy latched ski boots. How old is he or she? I wondered. How did they get here? Where are they from? Are they parents? What job do they have? Age? Money? 

Dozens of snowboarders would stop and sit directly on the slope and take a rest — oblivious to untrained skiers like myself who narrowly avoided them as I rushed past. The snowboarders were allowed here.

Eventually, I sat down and took a rest at the Pig Pen Saloon, and watched as couples visiting helped their children on ski lifts into the late afternoon. It was from this local’s favorite aprés ski bar at Park City Mountain Base I realized that these families had no concerns about the holidays, cooking, cleaning, or working. Women both from nearby or from distant countries alike, were not out shopping, cooking, or wrapping gifts. These women were out skiing, on vacation during Christmas. After the skiing - a quiet hotel room awaited them,  a hot shower, and dinner perhaps. Maybe a glass of wine and a steak later on after a full day of exercise. It was there in the snow that day, I decided not to judge, rather I thought, and then I took lessons. I had witnessed how the other half live - but it wasn't about money exactly - it was that these women weren't afraid to say the hell with it. The idyllic depiction of Christmas that feeds on women's sense of identity simply did not exist there.

I'm not saying vacations like these don't have a price tag, or that there weren't years I didn't enjoy hosting the holidays - but it was then I realized that we can also ignore the stress and expectations we drive into ourselves, especially when the men are simply are not that invested. It was that day I understood some women know how to manage their lives, and refused to be the manager over the holidays.   

I questioned details like a tree or gifts - and I was told that sometimes visiting families have the tree and gifts delivered to the hotel room. Maybe that's a little overboard, but when women work full-time with children, maybe that's how all women deserve to be treated - at least once.

Some women just do what they want, and from what I saw, they were happy, and stress-free, and they did it with ease.